The Nerd Blog

What I Think About Things and Why

2009-06-15T23:49:00.004-05:00

So, the dust is starting to collect on this little project. Not too many viewers left, mostly friends who occasionally pop in to check out the site. And then leave. It's dismal, really. Sad, even. Possibly, downright depressing. Here's what I think, everything. All at once. What the site needs is a punch in the arm, one of those over-arching supercool articles that gets dug up a lot and seen by cool people. And they tell two friends, and so on, and so on.

I think that the internet does have a limit. It's true, that with the shrinking cost of storing information, the cost to increase bandwidth and extrapolate the amount of "web real estate" is going down. The internet is ever expanding, much like the universe, and guess what, most of it is porn. However, you will never find anything. We are beginning to reach what I like to call "web saturation". there is so much stuff out there, and there are many sites devoted to the same stuff. The fact is, that ten years ago, if you searched for "favorite Bright Eyes song" on Google, you would have gotten a big chunk of results. Not too many to look through most of them though.

Today that search request delivers almost two and a half million results.

We swim in a vast ocean of information, constantly being produced, constantly being recorded, copied and embellished upon. In the age of modern computing and mass networking, humans have discovered the ability to speak out. No longer does "the news" apply to journalism majors and anchors and reporters. Every voice that has the courage to yell out, virtually, has the power. No one but the people of the online community can decide what happens to your editorial on the world. Digg it up, this is good, this Stumbler doesn't like that, I Reddit. We have come into contact with the first form of democratic media, in it's purest untouched, unedited form. Free at last, free at last, we are Anonymous, and our word is for all to hear, to rally to to cry out to the world. ALL THIS BASE IS BELONG TO US!

Even those who haven't been nerdy since the dawn of the dot com craze, or earlier, are starting to see the mass media appeal of the internet. Tiny antique shops have websites to hawk their old china on, every shut in with access to a PC buys and sells on eBay and Amazon, and even those who were once afraid to approach the computer are drawn to the ease of use of the internet. My Granmother has a Facebook account. About 6 out of 10 of the readers of this could probably say the same thing.

What does it mean? Does all this mainstream interneting affect the world that much? What does it matter if the elderly facebook and the tech-illiterate start blogging? Will it change the world? Will it disrupt the climate of the long forgotten internet?

About sixty years ago, a technology came to the homes of nearly every american. It was a device designed purely for the delivery and communication of information: valid, important, educational. Something to keep the people informed. We now call this TV, television, the boob tube, the idiot box. To be honest, looking back, it's hardly what we had in mind at the outset.

Television is filled with crap now. Sports broadcasts, reality shows (fake and real), celebrity gossip, game shows, cartoons, sitcoms, soap operas, made for TV movies, made for the big screen yet horribly edited movies, and worst of all, Tyler Perry. All of this garbage is interceded by scraps of news programs that last for an hour, maybe two, but only long enough to not divert you away from the more frivolous distractions. The ever chattering, always present, ad-filled bastard of a decent and innocent idea. Even as someone who can enjoy a little intelligent entertainment, it's hard to stomach about ninety percent of programming.

What changed the television sets? What made them go from newsboxes to entertainment devices? It was the push of the everyday individual. the need to expand the boundaries of what entertainment is shoved the television to cater to the needs of the generations. A look at television now reveals the inherent ADD culture. Shows rarely last longer than half an hour, and if they do, it's because of a special event. Then you get that full hour. Even then, though, all the programming is split into smaller, manageable chunks by the commercial time. Adverts, on average, last sixty seconds, sometimes a little more if it's one of those irritating infomercials, sometimes as short as the now famous one-second commercial for the Miller high Life that played during the Super Bowl this last year.

If all of this sameness is threatening to you, never fear. You can always change the channel, exponentially increase the amount of programs, commercials, reruns, etc. The simplest televisions have at least twelve channels. "Basic" cable has almost one hundred. If you had every option available on a digital cable program, it approaches one thousand. One thousand shifting, changing, miasmic frequencies of information being driven into the eyes. Bright colors, flashing lights, anything to keep a distracted mind interested.

So what about the internet? The tool for connecting every computer in the world to one another via a glorified phone line. Intended for the transfer and sharing of information across towns, states, nations, continents, all in an instant. The crowning acheivements of all of this technology, making it faster, making it clearer, making it smoother, what are they? LOLcats. FAILblog. The ultimate integration of internet technology is the ability to combine a multimedia experience of visuals, audio, information and present it with ease. the most advanced website designers spend their time devoting energy to making people falling off of skateboards and onto their crotches intensely well run.

We are suffering from a downfall of the worst kind, allowing our nature as easily distracted and hedonistic individuals to control what we view and produce online. The web is now filled with what television has been filled up with: Perez Hilton celebrity gossip, videos of "real-life" wipeouts, sports highlights by the second, online gaming and gambling, cartoons made on Macromedia Flash, misguided series of web comedies, bootleg movies. Tyler Perry has a website.

Is it too late? It might be, but just like global warming, we can slow the process, take our time to realize how valuable the Internet is. We need to consider that just because the internet is a place that we are free to say whatever we want doesn't mean we have to say everything. Let every blog be meaningful, let every article you Digg be at least a little bit informational, and let every funny picture be hosted only once, because it really only needs to be there one time, right? We can save ourselves from drowning, if we can realize that it's happening. the internet can still be funny, but it also needs to be smart. We have the power, we are the rulers, and we decide what floats to the top and what doesn't.

Good night, and good luck.

The Nintendo Press Conference at E3: Read while you watch as a companion!

2009-06-02T11:36:00.004-05:00

Huh.

Where to begin over the announcements made at the biggest Exposition of Gaming Glory about the Juggernaut of the console market?

How about the beginning...

The latest foray into Mario's universe looks very interesting. Take the two very popular DS Mario games and combine them. Four players, two dimensions, and some interesting dynamics on the Wii, for sure.

More Wii Fit BS. Oh, and now you can BE Mario. People are going to be breaking those balance boards...

Still no Zelda...

Oooooh...the MotionPlus with a new Red Steel Game...maybe they can get all the motion right this time. That game could have been great, and this is just what it needs. SportsResort looks fun, but where is the core attraction?

Oh. Golden Sun. There it is.

Now to complain.

Why doesn't Square release REAL games for the Nintendo systems?

FF: Crystal Chronicles, but not FF: XIII.

This new Kingdom Hearts spinoff, but not KH3.

Still no Zelda...

I wish this woman would go away, I liked it when Shigeru used to do these things and they would combine his broken Engrish with dubbed Japanese.

Do it yourself WarioWare? That's gonna be naughty in the future. People are twisted.

LOZ: Spirit Tracks. Saw this trailer. Love Zelda. Want Zelda for Wii. Where is Miyamoto?

Iwata is coming on now. Finally a Japanese guy. Haha. Love the Engrish.

Oy...no more with these "Maybe gamers". I want you to appeal to me, the Core gamer. Don't do this Iwata.

Wii vitality Sensor...Hospital equipment?

This could be interesting...imagine a Resident Evil Game where the horror is based on your heart rate...

Crazy Woman back...more Mario News?

Full 3d Mario Game...sweet.

Yoshi.

Galaxy Style Gravity Manipulation...

64 style large worlds too, though...

An atypically unoriginal name. Super Mario Galaxy...2. Oh well. Looks cool, looks fun.

Still no Zelda...

Oh Reggie, I DO Want more.

Third Party Titles with a "harder edge".

"The Conduit" from Sega.

Trailer makes it look like Terminator, Bioshock, and Metroid combined.

"Resident Evil: The Dark Side Chronicles" from Capcom.

Old Characters, RE4 style Gameplay. Kinda skimpy on the trailer budget...

"Dead Space: Extraction" from EA.

Re-Make/Prequel.

Edgier game from Nintendo themselves?

With Team Ninja...

Metroid: Other M.

Oh wow. That looks in tents...so cool...

Miyamoto isn't here yet. Still no Zelda...

Waaaah. It's over.

Well, once again, we have seen a lot of attractions for those "new" gamers that need less challenging titles. However, this year at least provided some interesting titles for the core gamer. New Metroid, some third party up and comings. New Mario Galaxy. I can live with that.

So. No Zelda Wii. Yet. No Miyamoto on stage AT ALL. Way too much talking, not enough games.

Overall. An exciting year is ahead of us.

Flip-Flop Fanboy: The OcaRe-run of Time

2009-04-12T11:42:00.011-05:00

Well, hindsight is always 20-20, isn't it folks?

I must say that on the face of it, a straight up remake of one of Nintendo's most popular (and subsequently ported) outings in the Zelda franchise, even with a fresh lick of paint and Twilight Style Motion Control (Maybe even Plus+, you never know...) wouldn't be a good idea.

But looking back at Ocarina's history, it is entirely possible that a remake wouldn't be entirely horrible at all.

No, I haven't completely lost my senses in some Choco-licious Easter Stupor. As mind-bendingly wonderful the cocoa-based wonder-drug is, it does nothing to effect my clarity and focus on this wonderfully wonderful chocolately chocolate...

...Okay, maybe a little...

But back on topic. Ever since the 1995 SpaceWorld tech demo, the title was hotly anticipated. Whereas Super Mario 64, which was developed alongside Ocarina, was released the next year as a launch title, Ocarina spent a while longer in development limbo, bouncing from a 64DD title, to a stand-alone cartridge title with a DD-Based expansion to come along after...

For the uninitiated or the un-nerdy, the Nintendo 64DD (Disk Drive) was an unmitigated commercial failure, originally conceived to sit underneath the N64 and run along with it, expanding on already released titles. (Random Fact: This was the original premise of Banjo-Tooie Stop'n'Swop interaction with it's predecessor).

Most of the titles in development moved to cartridge or were canned entirely. (Random Fact: The Death of the DD put paid to the development of the first 3D Pokemon RPG. Pokemon Stadium was also on the list, but moved over to Cart form.) This was the fate of the Ocarina expansion, known in quarters as 'Ura Zelda' or 'Zelda Gaiden' (The later name springing from memory only). It did eventually seem to resurface in the form of a Bonus Disk in certain LOZ: Wind Waker packages as 'Master Quest', though all this really did was change about dungeons slightly.

I'm guessing though, that it was intended to be something much more... And only helped fuel speculation of rumours of 'Temple(s) of Light' (See Fake on Left) and being able to actually get the Triforce itself.

So, this is what I'm saying:

If I got told that OcaReRun was actually going to be a fully realised, bells and whistles version of everything Ura Zelda was supposed to be, and maybe more (I'm thinking in amongst the veins of a lot of Fable II's DLC in additional story veins, emphasis on seemingly secondary characters and some kick-ass sub-quests)...

Then I'm willing to give my support to it.

This way, it's less Lucas' deviant exploits in Peru, and more a long-awaited Director's Cut, or Extended Edition. Nintendo reading from the book of Peter Jackson and LOTR.

Possibly controversial in amongst those of you I speak to, but...

The thought of seeing Ocarina become deeper, even richer an experience, ESPECIALLY given the (oft-complained about on my part) superficiality of current generation Wii games...

Surely that's worth placing the sword back in it's pedestal for?

Dan's Guide to Video Games... Resident Evil 5

2009-03-31T12:33:00.009-05:00

When you hear T-virus do the hairs on the back of your neck stand up?
When you have nightmares does a certain Presidents daughter's voice pierce your sleep?
"LEON!!! HELP ME LEON!!!"

Recently, Capcom released another installment to the Resident Evil series. This one, sequentially named Resident Evil 5. After the events of Resident Evil 4, a new type of enemy was introduced into the series' horrifying armory of enemies. Las Plagas. These enemies have been forced to have a parasite injected into their bodies. The parasite grows and grows until Leon comes along and timely blows there head off. At which point the parasite activates and explodes out of the stump where a head was once attached, effectively emptying the player's bladder.

And thus Resident Evil 5 picks up. Many fans wondered whether the T-virus would make a reappearance, or whether the Las Plagas would haunt another portion of the world. Long story short: It's kinda the Plagas. Chris Redfield is sent to Africa on a mission to capture a man who is suspected of selling Biological Weapons on the black market, and thus, once again, all hell breaks loose.

Okay, enough backstory. Check it. In RE5 you get to play the entire game with a partner, whether it be with CapCom's self-proclaimed smartest AI, who appearently finds it effective to shoot enemies THROUGH it's human partner, or with a friend on the same XBox, or over XBox Live. Go CapCom for trying something new, sort of. The new partner system is insane when you play it over Xbox Live. Each partner retains there own inventory, gold stash, ammunition etc. Ammo and Herbs can be trades and given to the other player, guns however, cannot be given. Which makes sense, even though it is annoying. When two human players are playing the game, one can be the point man, armed with a shotgun, pistol, and grenades, while the other is support wielding a high powered rifle, machine gun, and pistol. Yes, that is indeed how I played through with my co-auther K Bridges. He was the front man, I was support. It worked VERY well, when he wasn't too busy looking around to ignore his partner's frantic yelling of a chainsaw wielding lunatic who was chasing him.

Off of this whole two player thing. The game runs very well. Control system is much like the previous games. TONS of bonus material. Myself, I am only 23% through the game.

Mercenaries Mode: Dude. I always loved this mode. I still played this mode on my Wii when I came home for the weekends. It's just amazing. Go kill stuff, you have 2 minutes. Go. That's just awesome. I would like to think of my partner and I at being pretty good at this game. Yea, not. We played one round of mercenaries, and they graded us with a D. The lowest rank next to death. Damn. Lots of practice ahead of us.

Overall
Graphics: 9/10 - Beautifully terrifying graphics. Recommendation: Diaper.
Sound: 8/10 - Well done.
Gameplay: 9/10 - Same ole high quality I expect from the Resident Evil team.
Difficulty: 8/10 - The game is pretty difficult the first time around. After the first playthrough it is easier, with the option of unlimited ammo, the game just gets easier. The mercenaries mode is where the difficulty really shines. You have 2 minutes. Kill as many things as you can. O yeah. You get the guns CapCom lets you have. No uber shotgun here... Damn.
Replay Value: 9/10 - The main storyline can be replayed using the SAME WEAPONS you just upgraded throughout the entire previous playthrough. Nothing like killing first level Manjini with a fully upgraded shotgun. The Mercenaries mode is crazy hard, that is where the real challenge of the game lies.
Multiplayer: 9.5/10 - Amazing Multiplayer abilities. There is nothing more terrifying than hearing your partner scream because of something, and you have NO IDEA what is causing it. So you scream anyway.
Overall Grade: A-
Recomendation: Go Buy It. Seriously. You won't regret it. Just make sure you have a friend who has it also and is willing to play it with you.

Commercial Success killed the New Idea... Star.

2009-03-30T23:16:00.005-05:00

Bad title, I know... But. It ties in.

DigitalSpy are reporting (link) that Nintendo are due to announce the next Wii outing for our favourite Green-Clad, Elven Hero...

The title?

"The Legend of Zelda: We've Run Out of Ideas So We're Remaking Ocarina of Time Instead."

*Rolls Eyes*

Bad Nintendo! *fwaps with rolled up Newspaper* BAD! We want new ideas. NEW! Yes it's a brilliant universe, but we're seriously going into Lucas-Esque Re-Touching (Read: Molesting) of the Original Star Wars movies...

And that way madness lies...

- DA Out.

Movies that aren't old enough to be classics, but I still took this long to see.

2009-03-24T08:46:00.004-05:00

I went to the library over this last weekend and checked out "The Wackness" featuring Nickelodeon's Josh Peck and several other stars you wouldn't expect in a film about drugs, sex and living as a white teen who has serious depressive problems and listens to Notorious BIG.

We'll start at the least obvious and work our way up. The soundtrack, along with the snippets of original score, was really great. It's fun to dig up those old 90's hip hop tunes after you watch this. If you have them.

The acting was great. Ben Kingsley returns to the world of great cinema, but is actually outshined by the subtle greatness of Peck. Peck transforms into the teenage drug dealer in an instant, and you can tell that he is the emerging star of his former duo on children's television. Pretty good work from Famke Janssen and the Olsen twin who isn't out of her skull as well. Great return performance from Juno's Thirlby.

The story is atypical in the world of teen dramas and spans an entire three months in a sort of faux Odyssey of gritty New York. It has love, sex, humor, and everything else. A good if not great film. 4/5.

Going for the No-Prize...

2009-03-23T14:45:00.003-05:00

From Emma Frost's Wiki page:

"At the meeting, it is revealed that she and Prince Namor share a romantic history. During her days as the White Queen, Sebastian Shaw sends Emma to convince Namor to join the Hellfire Club. Instead, Namor takes her to his kingdom and they begin a relationship. Believing Emma to have betrayed him for Namor, Shaw sends a reprogrammed sentinel to Atlantis, attacking the two and destroying the kingdom. As Namor confronts Shaw for his treachery, Selene takes telepathic hold of Emma, erasing her memories of Namor, who vows revenge on Shaw. In the present, Emma reveals that her initial battle with Phoenix unlocked her memories of Namor. She makes a pact with him, seducing Shaw and using her telepathy to make Namor believe she has executed him, while secretly telepathically incapacitating Shaw. Per their deal, Namor vows to protect mutant-kind as his own people, while Emma, more determined to fill her role as a leader of mutant-kind, contacts Scott to have Shaw captured by the X-Men for "crimes against mutant-kind." Approaching him later in his cell, Emma reveals that she has captured Shaw for Namor and on the basis that the Sentinels he commissioned were ones later used by Cassandra Nova to destroy Genosha. She sentences him to remember nothing but the faces of the Genoshan victims using her telepathy. "

So, no Brazillian Rainforests...? No Wild Sentinels...? Just having Sebastian Shaw to blame, then wasting him as a future antagonist...?

*roll eyes*

SPOILER WATCH: X-Force #13

2009-03-19T12:24:00.003-05:00

From what I've read, this issue will be desive and controversial. With a blatent death of a Cult B-List X-Character and a pair of Big Question marks...

...I'd like to re-iterate my earlier point.

STOP KILLING PEOPLE!

*sigh*

So much for the Nextwave Reunion...

Comics to Television: Why haven't these been picked up yet?

2009-03-18T11:35:00.002-05:00

If you haven't heard of Bill Willingham's Fables, I suggest you go to Amazon.com right now and order all the trades of it you can. The basic plot is that due to a horrible conflict in their own world, a legion of Fairy Tale characters have taken up residence in New York City. Basically you have these characters adapting to life in the "real world" filled with intrigue and mystery.
Now, ABC has ordered a pilot based on this series. I will be watching it when it comes out. Because Fables is that awesome. So awesome it hurts. Go buy it. I'm serious. I'm not going to tell you again. >: I

But this got me thinking. What other series are begging to be given the small screen treatment? Here's some ideas.

Series Title: Academy X/X-men: First Class
Publisher: Marvel Comics
Possible Network: FOX

With it's strangle hold on the X-men franchise, you'd think FOX would try to boost it's mutant market by capitalizing on the popularity of teen dramas like The OC, Gossip Girl, etc. Marvel's Academy X is about a group of students at Xavier's Institute, and dealing with being not only a hormonal teenager, but a hormonal teenager with superpowers.

Likewise, X-men: First Class is a retelling of the early years of the OG X-men (Cyclops, Marvel Girl, Iceman, Angel, and Beast). Again, teen drama and superpowers are a cash cow. How many seasons has Smallville been on now? Yeah. I thought so.

Series Title: The Walking Dead
Publisher: Image Comics
Possible Networks: Showtime, HBO

Robert Kirkman's ode to George Romero's classic is one of the best comics out there, zombie fans all over praise the work for it's study of our survival instincts and it's realistic portrayal

It is a sprawling drama, about the ultra violent struggle of man vs. the undead, as a rag tag group of survivors fight for their lives against the zombie horde. This just screams Showtime or HBO, two networks that have simultaneously cornered the markets on both engaging character development and mature themes.

Who wouldn't love watching a hour long zombie drama? I know I would!

Series Title: Gotham Central
Publisher: DC Comics
Possible Networks: The CW (Warner Brothers)

Ok, here's a concept. Procedural Cop Dramas have been steadily popular for YEARS. Shows like CSI, NYPD Blue, The Shield, etc have been on the top of the ratings charts for such a long time, you'd think that a comic written by the award winning Ed Brubaker would be easy pickings.

Not convinced? What about a Procedural Cop Drama written by Ed Brubaker about being a cop in Gotham City. Yeah, I thought that'd do the trick. Long story short, it's about being a cop in the shadow of the Batman. A Batman series without Batman. Cool right?

In fact, the CW wanted to pick this up a series, but the memory of the dismal Birds of Prey series stuck with them and decided against it. The characters are well developed and compelling, the rogue's gallery is the MOST colorful/iconic groups of miscreants and malcontents ever put on the page, and Batman is selling like nothing else right now. Seems easy enough of a choice right?

Series Title: X-factor
Publisher: Marvel Comics
Possible Networks: FOX

Again, since FOX owns the right to the X-men, they would be the ones putting this one out. A team of wonderfully b-list X-men characters operating as private detectives in "Mutant Town", a district of New York City that the X-gene positive have made their own. Mutant Town is a lot like California's Castro district, for those not in the know.

You have the lovable Jamie Madrox, a man who's life can best be described as multiple choice (he has the power to create duplicates of himself, each representing an aspect of his personality), his best friend, the muscle bound Guido Carosella (with the tounge-in-cheek- alias of Strong Guy), femme fatale Monet St. Croix (telepathic, super strength, flight, and arrogant as hell), X-men Legacy/Jamie's main squeeze Theresa Cassidy (Daughter of Banshee, similar powers), Scottish lycanthrope Rahne Sinclair, and depowered Mutant Julio Rictor make up the team. The book itself is amazing, and a show based around them would be fantastic.

Series Title: The Question
Publisher: DC Comics
Possible Network: The CW

DC's second most notable detective, Victor Sage has already appeared in animated form (see Justice League Unlimited), and has a huge fan following from his comic appearances as well. He's also the main inspiration behind Watchmen's Rorschach, cool right?

"But Kyle, wouldn't a Batman based detective show be better?" You may ask. But Victor isn't from Gotham, he's from Hub City, a urban wasteland with worse crime than Gotham. Victor doesn't have Bruce Wayne's limitless resources or gadgets, just his keen intellect and his own two hands.

How's that for compelling television?

Hard boiled neo-noir would suit him best, with some internal dialogue to narrate the story. I really hope the CW is reading this, because GC and The ?uestion would be so much better than an Aquaman or Robin TV show (both projects they've tried to get off the ground).

Series Title: Scalped
Publisher: Vertigo Comics
Possible Networks: HBO or Showtime

Scalped is best described as a well written mash up of the film noir and western genres, telling the story of Dashiell Bad Horse, who returns to the reservation after fifteen years of absence, celebrating the fact by picking a fight with whomever crosses his path. Chief Lincoln Red Crow local bigwig, notices our hero's enthusiasm for getting his hands dirty and hires him for the tribal police, of which he is the chief as well. Bad Horse's primary duties are the taking out of meth labs - Red Crow is about to open a 97 million dollar casino, the 'Crazy Horse', and needs to clean up the reservation's public image before he can get things into motion.

Of course, there's a twist. Bad Horse is an undercover FBI agent, whose immediate superior still means to bring Red Crow to justice for the murder of two FBI agents, thirty years ago.
With "Urban and Gritty" being so common now, something "Rural/Western and Gritty" is goddamn refreshing, and perfect for the premium networks to run with. I also love the fact that Bad Horse is named after a character in the Maltese Falcon.

All in all, if I were in charge of a television studio, I would BEELINE for these properties. Until that time, when's Fables on?

TWIMC: Aron E. Coliete

2009-03-13T20:47:00.006-05:00

POSSIBLE SPOILERS WARNING

But by any right you shouldn't be caring about the most expensive and semi-ornate handful of glorified toilet paper this side of 'The da Vinci Code'.

See this preview of 'Ultimate X-Men #100'?

Well... Let's face it you haven't exactly proven yourself the best writer, have you?

You took the only visible Gay couple in the Ultimate Universe, crippled one and took the sensitive, artistic and gentle one and turned him into some horrible 'Roid-filled, Stereotypical Mess...

That drug in particular is a story of it's own. Named after a popular mainstream character ('Banshee'), when two different things with the same effect had already been introduced in the M/S MU... The Standard 'Mutant Growth Hormone' or 'MGH', with some overtones of Grant Morrison's 'Kick'... But rather than a sentient mould/bacterial life form, it turns out to be some drug...

...DERIVED FROM WOLVERINE'S DNA...

(Whoooooooooooooooooooooooooooore...)

...Created by Xavier and Magneto, but canned by the Prof, so what did Mags do? Go and get Moira F*cking MacTaggert to produce it to fund her base on Muir Island, (baring in mind that the most powerful Psychic had been around her before now, in canon and none of this coming up before, mind...) and upon being confronted about it... Suddenly seems to have developed mutant powers of her own! A Sonic Scream, no less...

But no... That's not my point right now... Right now you are messing with my homeland, and by proxy, me...

If you honestly think that you can go around making out that our most important seat of Government, whilst full of every single MP and a series of European Superheroes are inside, can get inside and blow the place up, the only resistance having been from two overweight, poorly protected Police Officers dressed in uniforms that went out in the Eighties, armed only with truncheons?

Firstly, do your research mate (See Picture, Below). Every one with at least a Stab-Vest. The one's around Parliament? Armed and trained to kill. And that's just the ones on the outside... And don't even THINK of claiming it's to increase dramatic tension and/or about suspension of belief. A good writer can get around that and still get his point across.

Secondly, Racism much? I know it's not right to throw that word around wantonly, but I will not have my nation played up as a helpless bunch of over-weight (*ahem*), under-prepared losers ready for the Big, Bad-Ass Americans to swan in and play WWII Saviours again...

We are NOT victims.

And we NEVER WILL BE.

(Editor's Note: See 'Captain Britain & MI:13' Issues 1-6 'The Guns of Avalon' - Secret Invasion Tie-In.)

Image from the New Zealand Herald Website, found via Google.

Novels You Shouldn't Read to Put a Smile on Your Face

2009-03-12T23:12:00.003-05:00

There are tons of books out there. Literally. There are so many. Millions. Billions. And the majority of these books are great pick-up-and-read books with interesting plot movement, romance, laughs, etc. But buyer beware: there are lots of great books that are downright depressing and sad. Here is a small sampling of some books that will not only bring you down, but probably ruin your life. WARNING SPOILERS: Every one of these novels is a good read, so despite my ruining them, read them anyway.

Rabbit, Run by John Updike is a touching tale of a man who learns to cope with the realities of the world and his surroundings and enjoy the fact that all of his dreams have come true. Right? No. The novel is centered around Harry "Rabbit" Angstrom, a former high school basketball player who hates his middle class life. In an attempt to escape, he runs away from it all, only to discover his old coach, who introduces him to a prostitute named Ruth, who he has a long affair with, which causes his wife, Janice, to move back in with her parents. Rabbit only leaves Ruth when he hears that Janice has gone into labor. He returns home and is content for a while, until one night his wife refuses to sleep with him and he runs away to find Ruth again. Distraught, his wife gets drunk and accidentally drowns the newborn baby in the bathtub. Rabbit refuses to take any blame, and runs away again. He goes to Ruth, only to find her pregnant. She gives him an ultimatum: divorce Janice, or she gets an abortion. Rabbit can't make a choice and winds up running away again. And that's how it ends. Oh, by the way, Updike made 3 MORE of these heartbreakers about how much life sucks. Just makes you giggle, right? Moving on.

Many people have seen either one of the film adaptations (either the 1962 or 1997) of Vladimir Nabokov's Lolita. This novel is about a man experiencing platonic love for a young orphan girl who he then accepts as his daughter, right? No. It focuses on Humbert Humbert, a lit major who is attracted to "nymphets" or girls between the ages of nine and fourteen. He moves to New York from Paris only to find himself boarding with a widow and her young daughter Dolores, who he nicknames Lolita. He falls in love with the young girl, of course, and upon discovering this the mother attempts to send her daughter to a boarding school. While crossing the street to mail the letters to confirm her being sent, however, she is killed by an automobile. The letters are never sent, and Humbert goes to retrieve Lolita from the summer camp she is attending under the pretense that her mother is merely ill and in the hospital. He takes her to a hotel and intends to give her sleeping pills so he can have his way with her, but she winds up seducing him. Humbert tells Lolita the truth about her mother and gives her no choice but to live with him under his terms. They drive around the country from state to state, sleeping in motels. Humbert continually bribes her for sexual favors. They settle in a New England town, where they pose as father and daughter. Lolita becomes enthralled in the theatrical company at her school and is going to star in a performance when she has an argument with Humbert. She runs away, but he finds her, and she demands to leave town immediately. They do, but Humbert senses they are being followed. Lolita falls ill, and she is checked out of the hospital by her "uncle", much to Humbert's surprise. Apparently, she was having an affair with playwright Clare Quilty, who took her from the hospital. Humbert tries to chase them down, but loses their trail. He settles with a petitte girl ten years his junior, when he hears from Lolita. She is now 17, pregnant, poor, and in need of money. She reveals that she once loved Quilty, but he abandoned her when she refused to be in a pornographic film he was making. Humbert gives her the money from her mother's estate, takes a gun, and kills Quilty. He dies in prison of a clot in his brain. Lolita dies during childbirth. Fuck. Nabakov is apparently a bit of a sadist, because he wishes to impart no pleasure to anyone in this book. Not only is this story depressing, but it's disturbing as well.

Another one of those cheerful sunday afternoon books is Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger. Holden Caulfield just loves to have fun and think about the great turns his life has taken. WRONG! He hates himself and the whole world. He runs away from home, contemplates suicide, gets beat up by a pimp, generally lies about himself, disenchants his relationship with his sister, almost gets felt up, and winds up sleeping on a bench at one point. He finally breaks down crying watching his sister ride a carousel in Central Park. Oh, and his brother died when he was a kid. So there's that. Wanna feel like everyne around you is a phony? Wanna be reminded that John Lennon's death, along with other assassinations, were associated with reading this novel? Go ahead, do it.

So there's a few. Maybe I'll find some more depressing literature to discuss later on. I'll keep you informed.

Iron Man 2: Expectations High.

2009-03-12T16:37:00.013-05:00

Iron Man was not something I wanted to see at first. Marvel chose to release it during a point in time when Tony Stark was among the least most popular characters in the whole universe, (See Marvel:Civil War), and he certainly didn't have the exposure of the X-men or Spider-man.You see, Tony Stark isn't a misunderstood misfit mutant. He isn't a sympathetic web slinging loser. He's filthy rich, a womanizer, a boozer and he's not afraid of putting these traits in your face. He's hard to identify with. Period.

Like I stated, I was not looking forward to the film.

Then I heard Jon Favreau was directing. Previously to Iron Man, he had directed Made, Elf, and Zathura, three films that didn't cement my belief that the man could reign in Tony Stark.

Again, I was wary. But then I heard that Robert Downey Jr. had been cast to play Tony Stark.

"Well played Jon Favreau...well played" I sneered from my rotating villain chair, "But will your next move be as wise?"

Jeff Bridges was then cast as the antagonist Obidiah Stane. I was defeated. I was going to the movie.

Needless to say that I, like nearly everyone else, loved the movie. It had everything you could want in a well polished film and more. The drama wasn't over played, the comedy was fresh and funny... it isn't any surprise that many critics chose it OVER The Dark Knight as the best comic film of the year.

Naturally, and this is something I'm certain everyone else does, I started thinking about the sequel. What was next for Tony Stark? Would he join the "Avengers Initiative" (awesome)? Will there be more Samuel L. Jackson in future (Yes. He's signed on for NINE films with Marvel)? There were many questions floating around my brain as I walked out of the theatre that night.

The biggest of all was "Ok. So now they have to top Jeff Bridges in the next film. What villain could they possibly use?"

Naturally there's Iron Man's arch nemesis The Mandarin, a character that is not only horribly racist (He is the MANDARIN after all), but uses magical rings. The Ten Rings was the name of the terrorist group in IM, a nice nod to the villain, and Iassumed we'd see him next.

Then there's my personal favorite, the industrial spy known as the Ghost. Ghost has a power suit too, but his let's him pass through solid objects and become invisible. Imagine how cool that would be! Right? A spy at Stark Industries, stealing Iron Man suit secrets!

Meanwhile, a little film known as "The Wrestler" was released. Mickey Rourke fever sweeps the nation. I have always been a fan.

Marvel decides to nearly kill me with fangasmic awesomeness when I discover they were courting him to play a villain in the sequel. (Sam Rockwell's Justin Hammer is not yet set in stone yet *fingers crossed*)

"Well played Favreau..."

It is my great pleasure to announce that Mickey

Rourke has in fact signed onto the film, to play... Whiplash. ->

Uhm. Wut?

Ok. Let me be fair. This is an old picture of the guy, but I wish I was being facetious when I say that this is his coolest costume.

Ok. Let be be fair once more. According to the Iron Man 2 people, he will also have elements of the Crimson Dynamo (see below) within his character as well.

So now, again... I am wary. I've had bad experiences with poor mix matching (X-3's Callisto-Caliban-Quicksilver and Hulk's Daddy Banner-Absorbing Man-Zzazx... oh is my nerd showing?) before...

Even more so now with this announcement: Scarlett Johansson will be portraying Marvel's premire Femme Fatale The Black Widow.

ScarJo is pretty. I'll give her that. But can she play hardened Post Cold War operative?

We'll see.

I just hope they go with ...erm....better.... costume for Rourke... something like this maybe...

Speaking of Which...

2009-03-12T13:41:00.002-05:00

With Li'l Bridges condemnation of Memes... I think I'd like to address one particular piece of mindless cultural repetition and say:

As wonderful as it is that you folks in the Good Ol' USA have a nice, new, decent president and you wanna celebrate it an'all by giving him the Wolverine treatment?

I think enough is enough when Rob Liefeld jumps on that particular bandwagon...

Yeah...

Stop now... Plz...

Memeography – an art losing its luster.

2009-03-12T01:07:00.002-05:00

In the last five years, internet memes have broken out of the internet and into the mainstream. Any Tom, Dick, or Harry could tell you whether they “has cheeseburgers” or if something was an “epic fail”. The traditionally nerdy “that’s what she said” has broken out onto the network television scene with its appearance on The Office.

However, the last few years have been strangely devoid of worthwhile memes. The “Yo dawg” Xzibit meme is funny only the first eight billion times you StumbleUpon it. Demotivationals are clever, but the jokes are hit or miss, and sometimes even too inside for the internet crowd.

So what happened? When did the internet lose its shining stars of wry creativity and sarcastic humor and mindlessly funny video game lines? I could yell “do a barrel roll” at the top of my lungs in any public forum and get nothing. NOTHING! Where did these kids grow up? When? In the nineties? I DON’T THINK SO! Everyone loves their precious “lolcats” and such, but when was the last time any of them celebrated a real caturday? The meme should never have left the internet. It’s all become watered down. I haven’t seen the emergence of a true, repeatable, hilarious meme in years. And this saddens me deeply.

We need to develop a kind of system, nay, a quorum. A collection of individuals who have the perfect touch to apply to the world of dying internet humor, who could develop new memes and send them out into the world, like fledgling doves. Because the internet has a cancer, and it is called the common man. And to combat the influence of the common man, we must redouble our efforts to re-nerd-ify.

Kyle's Guide To Comics

2009-03-11T23:04:00.008-05:00

Often, I find myself trying to convince people to read comic books. It's not that I'm a lonely, desperate person or anything.... *cough cough*

I just know that if something is good it should be shared. But even in this modern, open minded, acceptance driven world people are still a little close minded about the whole "comic" thing.

So I thought I'd do something about it. I want to bring good comics to people and the best way I know how is to talk about them.

So without further ado....

KYLE'S GUIDE TO COMICS #1

SPIDER-MAN: KRAVEN'S LAST HUNT

by J.M. DeMatteise and Mike Zeck

Why I Like It: Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you one of the finest Spider-Man stories ever told. Kraven the Hunter was one of the original Stan Lee villain creations, brought into being during the sixties. The sixties were a time when gimmick reigned as king, Kraven was not much different.

But there was something about the Russian hunter that was different. There was no freak accident that spawned him, no radioactive super suit that bound him to a life of crime.

Sergei Kravinoff was a hunter. And he wanted to hunt Spider-Man. That was his deal.

It takes a special kind of crazy to want to hunt a human being.

This story is a deconstruction of a man feeling his age, and feeling the sting of failure and the pain of a life wasted. The proud hunter feels as though his spirit itself is dying, and in order to find peace, he must go on.... well... his last hunt.

What goes down is an incredible tale of one man's desperation and insane drive to not only to beat his enemy in a fight, but to utterly destroy him.

And it's bleeding brilliant. We see a side of the villainy that (for the time) was not often explored, and wonderful characterization from every character in the work.

Why You'll Like It: It's brilliant. And for people looking to get into comics and wanting something more (without entering totally alien territory) than your typical fare, it's fantastic.

TWIMC: Marvel's X-Editors and Writers.

2009-03-11T20:25:00.004-05:00

Firstly, TWIMC?

"To Whom it may Concern".

I'm crazy mad for syndicating ideas. Often to my detriment.

Secondly, aware that the last post I made may well have been a case of TL;DR... I'm keeping this short. Ish.

COULD WE GO BACK TO SEPARATE TEAMS, PLEASE?

And stop the near regular killing off of D-List Characters, while we're at it?

There are so few characters left at the moment, but yet the two core books, a key support and most satellite shorts and one-shots feature the same characters.

I mean, it was mainly a slight gripe that Wolverine was in all three Key Books at once... And I quite liked the usage of Emma Frost as a supporting character in the Adjectiveless run.

But now I see so much of (Badly Written, courtesy of Editorial Mandating) Cyclops it makes my head spin. And for no apparent reason, here's Wolverine:

Yep, Marvel has it's answer to Heath Ledger's Joker. Whereas the Dark Knight character is a Shark-like Predator that cuts it's way through the film driven by the need for Chaos; Marvel has the potential to have a Wolf-Like Predator that could cut it's way through any medium driven primarily by the need for Beer.

And whilst there are some writers who can manage this, poor Mr. Howlett is Marvel Comics' resident WHORE. A dirty, well-worn Village Bicycle written poorly by any Tom, Dick or Harry in an INSANE volume of titles with no real depth... Like there's a set of ball pits with Locations, Numbers, and Marvel's Villain Back Catalogue... Writer's take their pick, dip their member in some ink and splash away on some paper, with the more intelligible parts eventually deciding the next arc of the Wolverine ongoing...

This is of course wanton speculation... But how else would Jeph Loeb come up with a Magic Sword?

But I digress...

We have so many characters, even with M-Day having thinned out the numbers... Back in the old system we had random C/D-Listers stepping up to the plate... Hell, it still does happen (Vanisher in X-Force?). But it can't happen if the numbers falling and everyone clamors to have Cyke and Wolverine in their books. Eventually the same voices show up, the world begins to stagnate and it just becomes the same stories and interactions, over, and over, and over...

Even Iceman isn't featuring properly in a core title. So where do the Northstars and Husks come into it? Let alone the Lady Masterminds and Omega Sentinels...

PLEASE... Let the little guys take over.

If only for a while...

Floatingtext Pictures found on PhotoBucket via Google, Created by TinGirl85...

The Something Killed the Gaming Star...

2009-03-09T17:30:00.004-05:00

So... Like Mr. Bridges, I'm going to save the personal introductions and get something I want to say over and done with.

The Wii.

It's been a mixed blessing for Nintendo, hasn't it? For the first time they're leading the field amongst the big three, with Microsoft a Close-Second by cornering the Boy's Toy and Multi-Platform Market and... Well Sony's new tubby baby has been chugging along at it's own pace, having weighed itself down with surprisingly empty and shallow ploys, considering how bulky it is. And from the massive (in scale, not size) Cock-Jousting, it's clear that the PlayStation brand is hell-bent on leap-frogging itself technologically over the nearest cliff, possibly taking the market with it.

But with this supremacy comes division. The release calender for 2008 left the Hardened Fans split. Myself amongst them.

The one half was filled to the brim with people, led by a number of quite visible figures within the Gaming and Fan-based Medias, complaining that, woe-is-me, the precious company that they'd supported through the bad times had forgotten about them by focusing on their newly found casual market, and had no proper 1st Party Games for them to be content with.

The other side, and quite rightly too, gave the first bunch a heavy dose reality and pointed out that there had been numerable titles coming out, from the relatively Smashing (...I'll get my coat *shame*) Super Smash Bros. Brawl to the more obscure and overlooked Wario: Shake Dimensions as well as numerable others, and that what these unhappy bunnies were experiencing was merely a bad case of 'Second Child Syndrome': irrational jealousy of all the extra attention given to the new arrival(s).

So, you think they're right? 'Cos I think, playing both Devil's Advocate and Smug Boffin here, that while both sides have points, neither have hit the nail on the head. The whiners have jumped the gun and pretty much unjustly bit the hand that feeds them, not realising if, in the current economic climate, we'd had another Gamecube, there'd probably be no more Nintendo to complain about; Where as the rest have, quite frankly, got their rose-tinted blinders on and need to man up and call the relevant sh*t out because, if we don't, we're going to get walked over.

Here's my point:

Yes, we are getting those first-party titles that we want. Yet the only reason we get the volume complaints IS because of Nintendo's focus on the Casual Market.

It's all in the DEPTH.

When I look at the current generation of Nintendo Franchises, and then at their Gamecube-based counterparts, there's a number of glaring backward steps. It's as if Nintendo think that because they've got a brand-spanking new and 'innovative' control system, they can stop pushing themselves to make better games and move into remaking cut-down versions but with refined control...

I'm sorry, but no... I've seen this type of thing before. Who's got the biggest processing power, who's got the brightest bloom, who's got the brownest mud... Now who's got the most intuitive way to simulate jerking off whichever see-you-next-Tuesday Slimy Executive type who keeps pushing this type of thing?

Not for me.

If there's no depth to a title, it's played in a week or a weekend and suddenly it's two months before the next title out, and even then it's not one you instantly jump for...

I think the point is, saving myself more than enough for a dozen more columns, is that we as fans need to start looking for those enthralling, deep and atmospheric experiences and challenge Nintendo to challenge us... And not by just upping a difficulty curve in the AI.

Double Dash to Wii, Melee to Brawl, even Sunshine to Galaxy. Look at them and tell me that on some level the generational shift hasn't left us short changed. Look at any title... Go on. That's my challenge. And here's another, there is an exception that proves the rule. Name the title and tell me why, and you'll earn yourself a genuine 'The Nerd Blog' No-Prize*1.

In my next entry, I may or may not be discussing what the cause of this short change may be, and why it signals the industry moving in completely the wrong direction, as well as revealing that exception, and in the future possibly detailing what should be done with said franchises in something that may well become a regular feature on TNB...

'The Fanboy Knows Best...'*2

*1 - No-Prizes are fictitious and based solely on glory and perception only.
*2 - Title, as with most things on this site, are libel to change.

I watched Watchmen

2009-03-08T16:14:00.002-05:00

Let me just get something out of the way.

I've read Alan Moore's Watchmen about forty seven times (give or take). I've based personal philosophies on the musings of some of it's characters. I've used their names when I've pranked called restaurants. I love everything about Watchmen.

I first found out about the MOVIE version right around the time 300 came out. Zack Snyder had infamously snuck a still of one of his prop hands in a Rorschach costume in between the frames of 300's redband trailer.

I spotted it. Then I started to worry. I worried through the first rumblings from Fox, to the night I saw the teaser trailer.

I worried about Malin Ackerman and Matthew Goode. I was right to, because they were the weakest links in the film (aside from the comedically exaggerated Nixon and Kissenger). I never once worried about the other cast members, and again I was right not to.

I continued to worry until the fateful night that I gathered up my smiley face pin, and headed into the theatre.

My thoughts:

Well Done Zack Snyder. You didn't make me cry with agony once. I actually sat through this movie without feeling THAT violated.

I did have some issues, however.

-They gave Dr. Manhattan's best line in the whole book to Laurie. FAIL

-They had Bubastis, but zero mention of how easy genetic engineering was in this alternate time line. I think they brought up four legged chicken during the restaurant scene, but just having a giant purple lynx in the film made things... odd. You see, the point of SEEING (as opposed to just hearing,) a four legged roast chicken, and Bubastis is to reinforce the notion that the plan Ozymandias put into motion in the comics is plausible. Basically, no squid=out of place lynx.

- I know why these were cut, but I missed the side plots dreadfully. And Hollis' death.

-Black Freighter. A lovely parallel to Adrian's descent. Gone. It's important dammit. Hopefully that ultra sexy directors cut makes it work.

(Keep in mind I liked the movie, btw.)

-The fighting was too polished and the sex scene was ri-god-damn-diculous. A relatively beautiful moment in the comics, spoiled by weird slow motion buttocks clenching.

Fanboyish Bitching aside. It's a good flick. 7/10.

First Entry

2009-03-07T23:04:00.004-06:00

So,
I figured I would start off this blog with some epic rant on the recently released film adaptation of "Watchmen", but then I thought. No. Too long of a post requiring too much research to be done. So, on that note. I figured I'd at least introduce myself to those of you who don't know me.
The names is SirOdin (like that, I do) and I am a nerd. I read comics, watch way too many movies, play an absurd amount of video games.
Today I started playing Square Enix's Final Fantasy 9 again, and realized how much I miss the classic SquareSoft games. I mean since the merger of SquareSoft and Enix, what have they produced that's good? If I have my facts straight, which I do, the last Final Fantasy made by SquareSoft was Final Fantasy 10. Whether you thought it held a candle to 7, 8, or 9 or not, you have to admit X was expotentially better than X-2, or XII. Since then they've produced, 3 Final Fantasy's , X-2, XI, and XII, a couple of other RPG's, and REreleased several old school Final Fantasy's that they considered revamped. No. The rereleased Final Fantasy games were good to amuse us in the dead time in between XII and XIII but, they didn't do that. I throughly enjoyed the rerelease of 4 but, definitly did not hold me over.
Do they even have a release date for XIII? Is it in my lifetime. Seems like it's been years since my last true final fantasy experiance.
Anyway, In case you couldn't tell I have been very disappointed in Square Enix. Since it became Square Enix and not SquareSoft.
If your looking for a game with a good old fashion Final Fantasy feel check out Lost Odyssey for the 360. It was created by many of the creaters of the Final Fantasy series who left Square after the merger. Hm. Hm.
Anyway. Topic: FF9.
How awesome is this game. Honestly. The main character is (SPOILERS) a creature from another planet who was created to simply cause havoc and take lives. The anti-hero, is basically the same guy.
The battle system is great, althought it runs slow at times. You guys know what I mean, the waiting sometimes is enough to drive you nutz, but it's okay. I love this game. Each character has their own strength and weakness, and that is just awesome. I love the ability learning software for this game.

Anyway, I'm gonna run, because it's been a long day. Check back often for more awesome well, rants, on Technology, Comics, Video Games, Movies, and whatever is on my mind.

I leave you with this qoute from a good friend of mine.
"I was talking to this chick about how funny 'Hamlet 2' was.... and she says to me, I haven't seen the first one, so I don't know any of the characters"
Just so you know. That 'chick' is in college at a major university.